Hopeful,
Grace, mercy, and peace, from
God, our Father, and Jesus Christ our Lord.
You have lots of things correct,
by parroting things I have shared;
But it seems you are still in child mode*,
still being tossed this way and that way,
like a wave of the sea tossed with winds.
*not said to accuse or condemn, but aware.
So, as it says in 1Corinthians 13:1-3,
there's lot of nifty things you can know, do;
But without charity it accounts as nothing yet.
So you may want to study, go thru,
these seven charity clarity pages:
http://sabelle.com/godshew/Charity.htm
The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ [be] with you all. Amen.