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Comment
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Suprina
Feb 19, 08 - 2:14 AM |
Pre-marital Sex
We already know that the Bible speaks against fornication (see 1 Thess 4:3-4). So why are so many Christian women doing it?
Is it out of loneliness?
Vulnerability?
How to stop fornicating once you've started?
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sharon
Feb 21st, 2008 - 2:27 AM |
Re: Pre-marital Sex
a very difficult question and thanx for this initiative Suprina i can tell it's going to be a very busy and lively forum, by the way how do i get the smilies into my messages (yeah i know duh!)...we know it's wrong but we let ourselves fall into the trap. i think it's more surrendering to the temptation. getting yourself in the atmosphere or environnment which can favorise this type of thing happening is the first mistake we - ehehm! - let me say i've made. you're out with your fiancee and you let yourself get drawn into a "romantic" dinner that ends up with you guys at his place to say good-night? not a good idea, good-nights could be said on the front door especially if you feel that you are inclined to listening more to your body than the Spirit of God in ya'. I think it's a question of not taking our Scriptures seriously, if we took seriously what the Lord tells us to do and OBEY that instead of rebelling and feeding our flesh what it wants, there would be a lot less "fornicating" being done.
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Suprina
Feb 21st, 2008 - 9:09 PM |
Re: Re: Pre-marital Sex
Sharon, you said a mouthful there. That whole 'getting yourself in the atmosphere or environment' thing is so true. I think we set ourselves up by going places and allowing ourselves to be put in situations that we know will lead to temptation.
I personally think we have a part to play in keeping down the temptation by making wiser choices. Group dating could be one option. Another option is to try to look at fornication from God's point of view. About keeping His feelings in mind, wondering how He would feel about us disobeying Him.
Also does sex really bring an unmarried couple closer together? When I was a promiscuous teenager, the moment I gave my boyfriend my virginity all kinds of problems started. He became more territorial, started taking me for granted, etc... I grew to regret ever sleeping with him because we were happier BEFORE the sex came into the picture.
Suprina
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Subrina
Feb 21st, 2008 - 10:25 PM |
Re: Pre-marital Sex
Hello everyone...I agree totally with Sharon & Suprina and we really need to keep ourselves studying & obeying the word of God...Matthew 26:41 says "Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”...1 Corinthians 10:13 says "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it."...May each of you continue to be vessels for God...Always ready to be used...Be Blessed, Keep the Faith, & Stay Encouraged
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Suprina
Feb 21st, 2008 - 11:49 PM |
Re: Re: Pre-marital Sex
Okay, Subrina brought up some more good points. If no temptation is uncommon, then that must mean others are going (or have gone) through the same things we are (have). And if God is faithful (which He is) to keep us from being tempted beyond what we can bear, then that must mean we have ample opportunity to be victorious over that temptation. Especially if we line our wills up with His on the matter.
Suprina
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Joy
Feb 22nd, 2008 - 3:16 AM |
Re: Pre-marital Sex
Hump... Suprina, curiouse topic to choose.
Pre-marital sex??? It is all about a standard, and your commitment to keeping the standard.
Group dating only?? Maybe for some, will alone dating get you to compromise your standard?
Don't sit in his apartment at night? Maybe for some, will sitting there get you to compromise your standard?
Alcoholics shouldn't go into a bar because they might take a drink.... I don't have that problem. Drug addicts need to stay away from other addicts in order to stay clean... I don't have that problem. I DO need to stay away from the snack machines a work though.... I will get a chocolate bar in a HOT minuet!!!!
How many would be tempted to KILL someone that they are angry with? Not many (I hope). Why? Because it is a standard that we have.... though shall not kill. So the question is, how do we keep this standard? Well different people do different things. Some take a walk to cool down. Some leave the relationship. Others call the police. Still others go to counseling. All PERSONAL methods used by other people to maintain the biblical standard of: though shall not kill.
The same thing goes with sex before marriage.
The important thing is to get standards that line up with the word of God... AND A MAN THAT WILL COMMIT TO THE SAME STANDARDS WITH YOU!!! This is the key to not having pre-marital sex. All the other stuff is just PERSONAL tips used by other people to maintain this biblical standard. Use what works for you, and the rest throw away.
Much Love
God Bless
Joy
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Suprina
Feb 22nd, 2008 - 3:16 PM |
Re: Re: Pre-marital Sex
Great idea you had, Joy, about how important it is to have a man that will commit to the same standards about pre-marital sex as you. Too often the woman is the only one trying to hold out until marriage and so the guy becomes a well of temptation every chance he gets, just waiting for her to take a dip with/from him.
Just like we have partners in crime, we need partners in righteousness, too. Men that will HELP us to stay on the straight and narrow because that's the path they've chosen for themselves, too.
Suprina
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Carrie
Feb 22nd, 2008 - 9:19 PM |
Re: Pre-marital Sex
"1 Corinthians 6:18-20 states that we should flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own, you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."
God created sex to be a beautiful and essential ingredient of marriage, but pre-marital sex puts us in bondage and separates us from God. How can we go to God asking Him for anything when we've violated the covenant between us and Him. God said "Be ye Holy for I am Holy". Sex outside of marriage is not holy and always ends up hurting someone. It hurts God because it shows that we prefer following our own desires instead of the leading of the Holy Spirit. It hurts others because it violates the commitment that is necessary to building a healthy relationship. It causes unhealthy soul ties (multiple partners) which causes dis-ease in the mind and spirit and disease in the body. And when the man or woman God has for us comes along our bodies are so crowded with seed from so many partners in and on us until we can't recognize or see our blessing because we've pushed the Holy Spirit aside, fulfilled our own lustful desires and have gone outside the will of God for our lives and degraded the standard of holiness that He intended for us from the beginning. And like grandma always says "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". I am worth the wait and if he's the one for me he'll see the same worth in me that I see in myself. 
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Suprina
Feb 22nd, 2008 - 9:44 PM |
Re: Re: Pre-marital Sex
Carrie, you just stated yet another reason not to have pre-marital sex. The risk of dis-ease in the mind, body and soul.
Yet people still do it. Women, some of them Christian, are probably doing it right now.
Why don't the risks matter? Why don't they deter us?
Or is it the fact that there are risks involved with pre-marital sex that makes it so exciting?
Do we just like playing with fire?
When are we (Christian women) going to wise up and realize that the risks don't outweigh the benefits of waiting? Waiting...until after the "I DO."
Suprina
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Carrie
Feb 23rd, 2008 - 12:01 AM |
Re: Pre-marital Sex
The risk do matter to those of us who fear the Lord. In 1 Corinthians 7:35 Paul says that "I am not telling you to abstain as to restrict you but that you might live in undivided devotion to the Lord."
1 Cor 6:13b says The body is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord and the Lord for the body. He can destroy both". If that doesn't disuade you I don't know what else to say.
Pre-marital sex puts us in a state of spiritual turmoil. God says He will keep us in perfect peace if our mind is stayed on Him Isaiah 26:3. When we go outside of the keeping power of God we are subject to satanic attack and one of the ways satan gets to us is sexual promiscuity and immorality. We have no defense and no help from God when we willfully go against Him.
It doesn't deter us because once you've tasted the forbidden fruit, it truly is hard to turn away from. It teases the pallet and tantalizes the soul.
The danger of it all is the consequences we face. Destruction of families resulting in adultery and divorce, unwanted pregnancies. It affects communities with STD's and HIV. Churches and cities (Sodom and Gomorrah) have been destroyed because of sexual sin and immoral acts such as beasteality(sex with animals),and homosexuality which God strictly forbids.
It tarnishes our mental stability and self worth. If told they're no good a weak minded person will keep on until validated sometimes resorting to rape, child molestation or prostitution.
The effects are more far reaching than we realize. Pre-marital sex separates us from God. This is why there are so many warnings against it in the Bible. And to think all of this can come from us running ahead of Gods sexual timetable for our lives. It's in the word. Wait for the I DO it will save U.
Carrie
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